


how to (not) court an apostate

by damnedapostate



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 01:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnedapostate/pseuds/damnedapostate
Summary: Fenris falls in love with Anders, but it's... not that easy to make the mage realise this.





	how to (not) court an apostate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thejourneymaninn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejourneymaninn/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY @thejourneymaninn :D

Fenris was out of ideas. Five months had passed, five torturously long months since he was courting Anders while the mage was completely oblivious to his advances.

He was honestly out of ideas.

Ever since they were civil with each other, then Hawke asked Anders to continue with his reading lessons, they were slowly becoming friends. And as time went by Fenris fell in love with Anders. Truth be told, it took him three months to realise what it was. Why he was reluctant to let Anders go home and kept him at the mansion with more food and more wine, why he searched his company constantly with nonsense excuses, why he dreamt about holding hands with the mage.

He tried nearly everything. First, he donated to the clinic to show he cared. Anders thanked him for his contribution. Then he started dropping off gifts – deep mushroom, Dragon fangs, harlot’s blush. Anything that could be useful for a healer. Anders thanked him for that too.

He changed tactics then. Brought food to share lunch or dinner with Anders. And Anders was always happy to eat with him.

It wasn’t that Fenris expected Anders to disrobe and have sex with him right at the dinner table just because he brought him food. No, not at all. Just… a smile or something that indicated Anders felt the same way as him.

But instead, when Merrill walked into the clinic and saw them sharing a meal at candlelight, and she commented on Fenris being an amazing _friend_ , Anders said, “Yes, he’s being so considerate. He even brought candles because it tends to be so dark here in the clinic.”

Merrill’s smile faltered and she nodded. “Sure, Anders. It’s because of the light, yes.”

“Apparently, Fenris wants to see my ugly mug all the time,” he added with a hearty laugh. Fenris had to share a pained look with Merrill. Anders was truly oblivious to his advances.

He brought Anders a sack from the Emporium that was seemingly endless inside, so he could bring it with himself and never be without potions.

When Isabela saw it, she smiled lazily, like a cat spotting a canary. “Anders, sweetheart, that’s quite the bag. Who bought you that?”

“Fenris found it for me. Can you believe it? It was at the bottom of a cupboard in his mansion. What a coincidence.”

“What a lucky find, indeed,” she answered, trying to find Fenris’ eyes, but the elf was busy staring at the sand beneath his feet. “That’s some expensive booty to find.”

“Oh, Isabela, please don’t make it dirty,” tutted Anders, shaking his head. “Fenris was very generous to give this to me. Thank you, Fenris, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, mage,” replied Fenris. He could see Isabela shaking with silent laughter.

Then Varric noticed the pile of Orlesian papers on Anders’ desk. “Hey, Blondie, where did you get high quality paper? My publisher said they were all out in Kirkwall.”

“Oh, haven’t you heard? Fenris found a little shop where they were still selling it.”

Varric looked at Fenris, but he was busy watching a spider making her web in the corner.

“Indeed, that is quite the feet.”

“Right?” Anders beamed. “I’m so lucky Fenris stumbled upon them.”

Varric was laughing at Fenris all the way to Hightown. “Did you buy all the paper in Kirkwall or bullied everyone into only supplying Anders?”

Fenris refused to give the dwarf an answer.

*

So after two months, he realised gifts weren’t going to be effective. He changed his plans in order to hint at his feelings. But it soon turned out, he couldn’t be obvious enough.

Anders stayed over one night, because a terrible storm reached Kirkwall, and he didn’t want to be drenched to the bones. And Fenris pointed out his bed was big enough for two people.

Anders was humming as he folded his clothes and laid on the bed.

Fenris got on the bed too, and clenched his teeth, before sighing deeply and rolling behind Anders.

“Fenris?” Anders asked sleepily, as Fenris cuddling close to him.

“The… bed… it’s most comfortable in the middle.”

“Oh, alright,” answered Anders, and scooted back a little. “You’re right.”

Fenris’ heart hammered in his chest, but decided he was a brave warrior, so he put his right hand over Anders’ hips. “My hand… it doesn’t have a place.”

“I don’t mind, Fenris,” slurred Anders, almost asleep. “Once I slept half submerged in mud with the Wardens.”

Fenris could have screamed. Was him cuddling Anders as uncomfortable as cold mud?

The next day Hawke came over to see if Fenris’ roof held in the storm. She found them on the bed, cuddled close.

“Oh, how cute,” she chirped, putting her hands on her heart.

“It’s not what you think,” explained Anders with a laugh. “The mattress is less lumpy in the middle.”

Hawke nodded at Anders, but after he was out of hearing distance in the washroom, she frowned at Fenris. “Isn’t that the new mattress you bought last week?”

“It is, Hawke,” replied Fenris, burying his face in a pillow.

“Then… how can it be lumpy?”

“It isn’t lumpy, Hawke.”

“Oh,” she said, then Fenris heard her swallow her snickering. “I’m so sorry, my friend, Anders is really this oblivious.”

*

During one lunch, Fenris gathered his wits, and confessed to Anders. “Anders, meeting you was the best thing that could have happened to me.”

Anders’ face lit up at that. “That’s amazing, Fenris. I didn’t know you felt that way.” Fenris felt his heart swell as he waited for Anders to continue. “I’m thankful for meeting you too. You’re the best friend I could wish for.” And that wouldn’t have been _bad_ , but then Anders reached over and patted his shoulder.

But Fenris didn’t give up. Next time, during a walk on the Coast, he started again.

“Anders, when I came to Kirkwall… for the longest time, I thought I would never find a home. But I think I found that with you. You’re very important to me.”

Anders looked at him, and put his hands on his shoulder. “You’re important to me too, Fenris.” Then he ruffled his hair. Fenris was so stunned, he couldn’t even get mad.

He was out of ideas. In one crazy moment, while they were shopping in the market, he turned to Anders, and just blurted it out. “Anders, I think I love you.” Anders looked at him, amused awe on his face. “I mean, I’m sure of it.”

“I love you too,” Anders replied with a curt nod and a smile. “You are my dearest friend.” Then continued to browse at the counter.

Fenris turned his face to the sky, and wondered if he was cursed.

*

Isabela suggested finding someone to make Anders jealous.

“Isabela, he wouldn’t even notice it,” said Fenris angrily. “And I don’t want to touch anyone, nor hurt them with false lies.”

Isabela hummed, and looked at Merrill. Fenris didn’t even know why he turned to them. True, they had more or less the healthiest relationship… and they weren’t useless in flirting like Aveline.

“Have you tried seducing Justice instead?” asked Merrill.

Isabela rolled her eyes at her with fond exasperation. “Kitten, how do you even seduce a spirit? One so stick in the mud as Justice no less.”

Merrill considered it, and then her face lit up. “Well, spirits like lyrium, right? And Fenris, you have a lot of it!”

“Lyrium?” asked Fenris dubiously. “Do I phase over them?”

Merrill snorted. “That’s a bad joke, Fenris, no.” She sighed deeply. “Anders mentioned to Hawke that the Warden Commander gave Justice a ring. Pure lyrium, because he found it fascinating. Try drawing focus on your lyrium. It’s a honey trap to spirits, it will work, I promise.”

Fenris still wasn’t convinced. “What do you propose? Do I stand in front of Anders and flex?”

“You could show us,” offered Isabela, but Merrill poked her ribs with a cute giggle.

“No, try something that would require Anders using his magic on you. Justice’s connected to his magic, is he not?”

“Tell him your come tastes like lyrium,” said Isabela out of the blue.

“Oh, that’s excellent!” giggled Merrill, then she sobered up. “Is it? Does it really?”

Fenris stood suddenly, and was halfway to the door, when he remembered to thank them. Then he was out of there, as quickly as he could.

*

He spent weeks waiting for the perfect occasion. And after a long trip to Sundermount and back, he was ready with his excuse. His lyrium felt shore and heavy on his skin, like it did sometimes. And Merrill’s idea stayed with him. Maybe Anders could really help him with this, and finally end with at least one kiss.

So he went to the clinic late in the afternoon, and waited on a cot in the back for Anders to be done with the rest of his patients. After an hour or so, the mage cleared out his clinic and locked the doors to the public.

Then he waved Fenris over to a meticulously cleaned table, and patted it encouragingly. Fenris hopped up on it, ready to execute his plan.

“So, what’s up, Fenris?” Anders looked at him so warmly, Fenris considered leaving the plan and just asking him to fuck him. Right here, right now. Surely, that would be obvious enough.

But maybe not…

“We had a rough time in Sundermouth,” Fenris started to explain, but Anders smiled at him fondly, and he realised he didn’t have to finish the sentence.

“Let me guess, dragonlings?” asked Anders with a knowing smile. “That place is crawling with them.”

“Yes, we met several,” nodded Fenris, “and two revenants.”

“Ouch.” Anders winced in sympathy. “Should I give you ointment for burnt skin?”

Fenris considered lying about burnt dick and asking for a healing kiss.

“No, it’s something different,” he said seriously. “It’s my lyrium.”

Anders’ whole body shifted at the mention of his tattoos. He regarded him more seriously, as he realised it wasn’t just a simple visit. “What happened? Are they painful?” He quickly glanced over Fenris’ arms.

“They feel… unusual. Heavy and uncomfortable.”

Anders considered it, eyes flashing blue. “Can I?” he asked, and Fenris gave his arm to him. “You used them for too long, right? Has this happened before?”

Anders kept touching along his tattoos, watching the edges and searching for irritation or any sign of injury.

“Sometimes after a bigger fight, yes. But it disappears after a while.” Not completely though.

For the first time in months, Anders looked up at him with disappointment in his eyes. “And you never asked for help before.”

Fenris suddenly felt horrible about the situation. “I haven’t considered it a problem before.”

Anders snorted, and pointed at himself. “I’m the healer, Fenris. It is my responsibility to decide whether a symptom is a problem or not. I thought you trusted me more by now.”

“I do. This is why I came to you now.”

Anders sighed, but didn’t pester him about it further. “Alright. We were discussing your lyrium a lot with Justice.”

Fenris couldn’t help but stare at that. “R-really?”

“Yes. It’s… fascinating,” Anders murmured, but his voice had an echo to it. “But it’s also very unprecedented and I’ve been concerned about it, and it seems rightfully so.” He let Fenris’ arms go. “I can’t do anything further, but Justice is willing to help you, if his presence isn’t too much for you.”

“No, it’s alright.”

“Are you absolutely sure?” asked Anders. “Anytime you say ‘enough’ he will stop. And I’m going to be real close too.”

Fenris couldn’t help the smile. “I know; I trust both of you. I wouldn’t have consented otherwise.”

Anders’ face softened again. He liked that word a lot, enjoyed saying yes or no to questions and receiving them to his own inquiries too.

“Alright, then.” He waved at Fenris, then let Justice forward.

Fenris inhaled sharply. He fought next to Justice, but he hadn’t been so close to him. Now Justice was practically standing between his thighs.

It was unsettling to see Anders, when it was painfully obvious it wasn’t really him.

“Fenris,” Justice said, his voice sharp, but not cruel. “I will try and help you.”

“Yes, please, do.”

“Your lyrium,” Justice started, hands hovering over Fenris’ biceps. “is injured. Its song… _your_ song is out of tune.”

Fenris felt the soft hairs stand on the back of his neck. Justice’s closeness was exhilarating and unexpectedly pleasant. He felt raw power pulse lazily out of the spirit and it resonated inside his tattoos. It was… weird, but the good kind.

“Can you help me with it?” he asked hopefully.

Justice hummed, but still didn’t touch him, not like Anders did. “Let me take a long look at you,” he said after long silence.

“Do you want me to take my clothes off?” Fenris felt a little boldness wouldn’t hurt him. “In my experience,” he explained, purposefully keeping his voice eve. “it makes it easier.”

“Good idea,” nodded Justice. Then his face got a faraway look, and he added softly. “As much as you’re comfortable with.”

Fenris felt butterflies in his stomach from the concern, but completely missed Justice’s longing expression when he pulled the clothe over his head. He got out of his leggings too, but decided to keep his underwear on, as one last barrier.

“Lie down on your stomach,” instructed Justice. “You carry a lot of tension in your shoulders, I would like to start there.”

Fenris did just that, and wondered why Justice stepped away from the table. Until he saw him return with a small pillow. “Put it under your head. It might take a while, and we don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Fenris thanked him, and stuffed it under his head. It was _ridiculous_ – Anders admitted to sleeping in mud and how he didn’t mind it, but they would give him a pillow for a short stay on an examination table.

Justice hands hovered over his shoulders, Fenris felt their calming warmth wash over him. “The flow of the lyrium isn’t even throughout your body,” explained Justice. “The blocks cause you physical and mental pain.” Justice gently pushed a hand over his nape. “The occiput is where your tattoos start,” he murmured. “You might feel slight discomfort, but if there is acute pain, alert me immediately.” He hooked his thumb under the curve of his skull and pushed it.

Fenris groaned automatically, it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, but as soon as Justice pulled his thumb away, Fenris felt immediate relief. “Oh.”

“You really should have come sooner,” said Justice. He pulled his hands over Fenris’ shoulders, kneading the muscle there. His grip was strong, and Fenris felt his body melt under the touch.

Justice traced over his spine, pushing at certain points, kneading and caressing at others. The lyrium tingled under his touch, and Fenris felt himself slip into a deep, relaxed state.

He didn’t quite pay attention as Justice went over his arms, then continued down his legs. But the moment Justice reached his soles, he jumped.

“Please, remain in place,” shushed him Justice, massaging his ankles and heels. “Or does it tickle?”

“No, no it does not, but…” He couldn’t finish it, just closed his eyes tightly.

“They are just feet, Fenris,” explained Justice. “All parts of the mortal body deserve the same attention.”

Fenris wanted to argue, but then Justice pushed down at a knot, and he caught himself starting to drool on the small pillow. He almost dozed off, when Justice stepped away and asked him to turn on his back.

He did that, and blinked sleepily up at Justice’s face. “We’re almost finished, don’t worry.”

Not that Fenris felt any worry. His body felt light like it never did before.

Justice kneaded over his chest down to his hips, where his light touch made Fenris laugh. “Oh, that’s ticklish, yes.” Justice hummed, and moved his hands lower. “I don’t have lyrium down _there_ ,” Fenris caught himself saying. And Justice blinked up at him, surprised and a little stunned.

“Yes, of course, I wasn’t… It’s easy to get lost in your body. It’s very beautiful.”

“Thank you,” stuttered Fenris. He wasn’t really good at receiving compliments. “Yours is too.”

Justice smiled at him. “Right? I’ve been telling Anders that he is quite pretty, yes. Maybe now that he heard you say that he will finally believe me.” But he was already pulling away. “Sit up, we are finished.”

Fenris slowly pushed himself up, feeling completely changed. “Oh.”

Justice’s glow pulled back and disappeared under Anders’ skin, leaving a faint blush behind on the mage’s skin. “So I leave the two of you alone for an hour, and you immediately start flirting with him, huh?”

Fenris was at a loss of what to say. Did Anders really seem jealous? Was Isabela’s prediction good? But… was he jealous of Justice? They were almost the same these days.

“Sorry, Fenris, I wasn’t talking to you,” said Anders apologetically, and patted his knees.

“I was flirting with him,” Fenris felt himself blurt that out. It seemed his common sense fell asleep on the table.

“With Justice? Really?” Anders wrinkled his brow. “Why?”

“The same reason I’ve been flirting with you for the past months.”

Anders’ eyes bulged and he snapped his fingers in front of Fenris. “My friend, are you awake? This isn’t the fade.”

Fenris slapped Anders’ hand away, and pulled him to stand between his knees. “I know I’m not dreaming, because then you’d be kissing me, mage.”

“Fenris.” Anders breathed out his name softly, looking at him with open alarm. “You… you said I’m pretty?” he asked with a bit of a daze.

“No.” Fenris shook his head and put his palms on either side of Anders’ face. “I said you’re beautiful.”

“Oh.” Anders couldn’t stop gaping, but put his hands on top of Fenris’ and kept them on his skin. “Oh! Then your gifts… you…”

“I was courting you, indeed,” nodded Fenris. He would have been amused, save from the anxious knot inside his stomach.

“They weren’t in the name of friendship then, Justice was right,” mumbled Anders. “You said you loved me!”

“I do, Anders. I love you.”

Anders skin went bright red at that. “I… I don’t know what to say, I…”

Fenris swore he could feel his heart break in two. He assumed too much, and he fooled himself. Anders didn’t feel the same, how could he… he was so generous and amazing, while Fenris was bitter and impatient.

“It’s quite alright,” he said airily, and started to pull away. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Anders’ hands were suddenly on his face. “Wait, let me gather my stupid thoughts, Fenris.” Then he took a deep breath and said the words in one breath, so slurred together Fenris barely understood them. “I love you too so so so much, you have no idea, I have been in love with you for years, oh Fenris I love you!”

Fenris stared at him with open shock. “You do?”

“I do, of course, I do! I just didn’t want to assume too much into your gifts. I mean I had my suspicions when you said that weird stuff about the lumps in the mattress when there weren’t any, but I thought that was just your quirkiness.”

Fenris stared at him some more. “Quirkiness,” he said in a deadpan voice. “Me pulling you tight against me in my sleep.”

“Well,” mumbled Anders, looking sheepishly to the side. “Yeah?”

Fenris never felt more in love with Anders than in that moment. “You’re lucky you already have my heart, mage,” groaned Fenris.

Anders giggled a bit, a high pitched, anxious sound, but he looked incredibly happy. His eyes crinkled as he smiled widely at Fenris. “As you have mine, Fenris.”

And then he stepped closer and leaned in a little, and from up close Fenris saw the tiny freckles speckled across his long nose, the amber hues in his warm eyes. But still, Anders was hovering, hesitating.

Fenris didn’t push him, waited for Anders to make up his mind, and finally, finally he closed the distance between their lips and kissed him gently, questioningly. Fenris all too ready to give an answer by opening his mouth, caressing his tongue against Anders’. And it was all the encouragement Anders needed to pull their bodies flush together and deepen the kiss.

Fenris was hugged close, kissed enthusiastically until their lungs started screaming for air. Only then did Anders pull back, ever so slightly, and peppered tiny kisses all across Fenris face, with special attention to his nose.

“Anders, why are you in such a hurry?” Fenris felt happiness bubble through his veins, making him giddy and light headed.

“I need to make up for all these months,” mumbled Andes between kisses. And with one final one to his mouth, he looked at Fenris with a bright smile.

Fenris snorted, and pushed his fingers into Anders hair to pulled the hair tie out and free his silky locks. “Fool mage, we have the rest of our lives. If… if that’s something…”

“Yes!” blurted out Anders enthusiastically. “Yes, you’re right. But still…” he suddenly looked sheepishly away. “Let me make it up to you somehow.”

“Well, if you insist,” shrugged Fenris, feigning nonchalance. “I guess I could leave with that.”

Anders grinned at him, mischief glinting in his eyes. “Then up you go,” he said in a sing-song voice, and easily picked Fenris up from the table. Thankfully Fenris quickly wrapped his legs around his hips, so he didn’t fall – and Anders was holding onto him tightly anyway. “Let me make you feel good, Fenris.”

Fenris didn’t have any doubts he would. And when his back hit the lumpy mattress in the back of Anders’ clinic, he made a quick mental note to thank Merrill for the advice. He really had to flirt with a fade spirit to finally get Anders to realise his feelings. And he didn’t even have to enclose the fact that his come did indeed taste like lyrium.

It made a rather pleasant surprise later that night anyway.  

 

 

 

 


End file.
